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  I like this guy. He is 19 and I am 16. The age doesnít bother me. I talk to him just about every night on the phone. We have not hung out together yet but I really like him. He always flirts with me and says stuff like when are we going to hook up. I donít know what to do because I like him so much now and I cant stand talking to him because he tells me everything that I want and donít want to hear like the people he hooked up with and stuff. He just told me that he can talk to me about anything and that if he every had a problem that he would come to me first. I got off the phone with him that night and cried. I like him a lot and it hurts me to talk to him but it also makes me really happy. Please help me I have no clue what to o anymore I want to tell him but if I tell him and he doesnít feel the same way then I will ruin a great friendship but it hurts me to be friends with him at the same time. What should I do? Please help me. Thank You.

Response:
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Dear Jennifer,

Yes, it is nice to have someone to talk with. As far as "hooking up" depending on where you are from, that could mean dating, or that could mean sex. The way it sounds here, is it means sex. If that is the case, then that is a bad move. You are confusing your feelings of enjoyment of good conversation and need/desire for a relationship, with trying to satisfy someone through sex. It comes down to the age old dilemma of someone wanting love and giving sex in order to get it, and the other person wanting sex, and giving the "illusion" of love in order to get it.

Also, you donít mention whether or not you have seen or met him. A common problem today, not just with the telephone, but with the internet, is that there are people who try to meet or get other people to have sex with them who arenít who they say they are. So if you havenít met this person, although he says heís 19, you may be talking with someone whoís much older!

We would suggest that you take a few days break and try to meet some other people and get involved in some other activities to give you some time to re-focus. Unfortunately, based on what you describe and how you describe it, we have a feeling you will ignore all of this and give in to his play - and if that is the case, then we offer one final suggestion, and that is to protect yourself from pregnancy and STDs - which again is your choice to ignore or not.
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