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  Thanks for taking the time to make such a wonderful site, and to be open enough to answer questions. My question(s) for you is-1. I know the hymen breaks during sex, but how much pain is there, and I know a few drops of blood will occur, but where does that blood go? 2. How does it find its way away from the penis? Like won't the guy get grossed out if he sees a little blood coming from your vagina? And also, how much pain are we talking about? I mean, does it hurt a lot? And like I keep hearing, "it's a little uncomfortable if your tense/nervous", but what does that actually mean? And I recently performed and received oral sex, and I was wondering if your still considered a virgin?? Oh, and one more question sorry, but if you know the guy was absolutely free of STI's or STD'S, like he's never done ANYTHING before, then is it safe to say that I won't get an std or STI? Thanks again, and sorry for al the questions! I still have more to ask, lol.

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Dear H,

Most times, first intercourse for a female is not painful. However, for some females, there is some discomfort, pain, and/or bleeding. Pain, is a very relative term, meaning that it is difficult to describe and varies from person to person.

As far as virginity, again, a term with different definitions. For some, virginity means a female that has not had her hymen separated (which doesn't take into account the fact that most of the time the hymen separates while growing up, nor does it account for males!). Another definition describes it as someone who has never engaged in vaginal intercourse (which doesn't take into account those who only engage in oral or anal intercourse.) And yet another definition is someone who has never engaged in any type of intercourse (vaginal, oral, or anal) but this doesn't account for "non-intercourse" activities like "outercourse." You are free to choose whichever definition you feel makes the most sense to you.

And unless you have been with your partner to the clinic and seen the test results, you DON'T know for sure whether someone is infected with a STD - what you describe is taking someone's word for it. But no, if neither of the people engaging in intercourse is infected with an STD germ, then neither will become infected (these types of germs don't appear from no where.)
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* For more information, check out UGTS for everything you need to know, or try some of the website links listed    under resources.

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